Vergas mias.
maan.. i've no clue why i'm writting this sh*t, but i'm just doing it.. daamnn.. just like today i just hate like fucking hell myself, maaan. I've not clue why i'm so fucking bitchy with every single person..
i used to think i was fucking arrogant.. man.. i swear am not.. i'm just sick of every single person, they just make me like puke, maan.. it is just its fucking annoying maan..
Sometimes i hate myself, i've no clue why.. but, the thing is.. i just sometimes i just dont like myself.. to that way.. i mean.. i like myself.. is sort of kinda way.. like.. sel-esteem.. and stuff like that .. maaan..
i'm just writting this shit like a fucking nigga dude.. maaan.. lol.. i havent feel in luv like w/any1.. i just feel like i'm a fucking sucker loner person.. thats fucking repulsive.. can u imagine my life.. ??.. i mean.. without any dude/chick to luv?.. thats fucking bad maaan.
sometimes i just like someone.. and the next day.. i just dislike that person.. lol..
its something like happens.. dude..
sometimes i'm too bitch with every one.. like so fucking rude.. or tough.. anyways.. its bad maan.. cuz i can hear myself and its bad man.. im telling you..
i dont like myself in sorf of kinda way...
i know i like some diferent kinda ppl, like dude's n' chiks around this fucking creepy world.,but anyways.. all of them sux.. in sort of kinda way..
i'm always fucking happy, i mean.. not like HAPPY!, but im fucking smiling and acting like sum kinda freak.. like a fucking retard.. dunno y am always duin that shit.
i think i've no friends at all.. ahaha.. i just dont feel myslef like haging around w/ass-holes.. like "talking" and acting like stupids.. thats fucking annoying .. you know what i mean.. fucking repulsive..
and then i'm thinking why am writting this shit..??
dunno y.. but am fucking duin it.. i know that NO ONE is gonna read it.. so thats why im doing it..
anyways..
yea.. i do not have friends at all.. lol..
they invite me to go to parties?.. and.. the malls?.. but.. maaan.. i just dont fucking want to..
probably.. because i've this shit on my mind.. and i've been like so fucking loner like a fucking entire year.. like hanging around w/myself.. thats pretty shity man.. thats pretty fucking bad, for a fucking girl like me?.. thats pretty fucking bad..
and then ppl think that im like those fucking girls who are like partying and kissing all the fucking time..
that makes me laugh.. maaan.. that makes laugh my ass off... and laughin out loud.. i cannot answer that shit..
ijust like to say NOTHING:. lol.. thats pretty much nice of me..
not talking is pretty good of me... is better than answer stupid fucking repulsive questions and acting like fcuking bitch!..
i've lost a lot of "real" friends".. lol.. that makes me laugh maan.. cuz i just cannot think that they were my stupid repulsive "friends".. maaan.. they werent..
i cannot think about them like "my real freinds"..i just act like they treat me...
but im usually acting like a fucking tough person.. but fucking inside im so fucking pink.. i mean.. so fucking delicate..??.. thats pretty much for sure maan.
i used to love a lot of people.. maaan.. they didnt..
i rememeber those fucking days.. when i was thinking and wishing be with them the rest of my life.. and now.. they can go to hell.. .. yeah man.. they pissed me off..
thats why i cannot love anymore man.. cus my fucking heart was broken.. and thats pretty shity man..
i used to think about them and dreaming and said: I can give my life for them?.. maaaan.. i was totally freaky young man.. i was totally fucking inmature.. like some kind of retard stupid ass-hole..
anyways..
sometimes i like ppl, like for their attitudes.. and when i meet them.. THEY SUX. man.. and it feels so fucking bad.. cuz.. u wanted to know them and then they really fucking sux.. man.
i havent had bf.. but i mean REAL FUCKING BF.. i havent man.. and im 17 years old.. so.. most of the time i think... isnt so bad huh?.. or.. is that so important in a girly life?.. maaan.. but some of the time like totally right now, it just feels like.. pretty shity, cause i havent luv A GUY!..man.. i havent feel desire for any fucking guy..
Maybe i'm totally gay.. maybe i'm gay... but i think i'm not..although i've gay-dar.. so.. most of the time i can notice if ppl are gay or not.. u know..
so.. my first kiss.. was with this girl.. maaaan.. i was like 8 years.. and.. i kissed her a lot.. now she's a fucking cocky girl.. i just havent see her for a long time, like 2 years or so.. but..i mean.. GOOD KISSES.. with tongue and stuff like that.. and lying in her bed.. it was pretty fun.. maaaan.. yeah im looking forward to have kisses again.. i mean girly kisses..
i've seen a lot of pictures .. i mean girly pictures acting like gays.. like les.. maaan.. thats pretty dirty i just would like to do that.. maaan.. no like naked things.. but.. just like lil kisses.. and.. just acting toguether.. u no.. those sort of kinda things...
it'd be awesome..
but.. as i said before.. my life isnt good at all..
i do not hang out a lot..so.. basically my life is being in front of the computer.. having maximium 10 contacts in my MSN.. cuz.. i do not like those kinda fucking freaky guys/girl who adds me and never but never talk w/me.. so.. thats pretty shity and bitchy of me... cuz i eliminate them or delete them.. and thats pretty much like im always doing...and talking with the same ppl.. or if someone sounds interesting i talk with them.. so.
so yeah.. going to the fucking insitute.. and im thinking about not going anymore.. so.. im gonna finish this level.. and not going anymore.. i've to work out a lil bit more.. cuz im not fucking fit anymore.. and im so anger about that... thats pretty shity man..
the fucking food drives me crazy maaaan..
anyways.. yeah...
my life is pretty shity.. am always kinda fighting with my mom.. yelling her.. and.. just acting like crazy like.. fucking cracked. and thats pretty bad..i shouldnt treat her like i do.. but ive bad temper maaan.... my sister.. am not use to talk with her.. so.. when she's at home.. it feels like shes not.. so..but thats her maan.. shes kinda girly sometimes, and thats pretty much like talking about her.. so.
i smoked.. maaan.. i wanna smoke more... damn thats a fucking addictive thing.. anyways.. i do not like when ppl smoke in front of me.. i'd rather do it..
anytways.. im fucking virgin... well i havent touched any stupid guy.. but ive touched myself.. so.. probably i know what it feels like.. u know.. being fucked....
its a good sensation.. i wish i can buy a fucking toy.. whats the name?.. maan.. i dont remember.. dildo?.. lol. yeah.. so i wish i would buy some day and try to fuck myself lol..
it'd be funn..
im fucking nuts man...
sometimes i think im so fucking like in some other planet.. and sometimes i feel im like diferent than everyone..
maaan..
anyways..
i should wait..
i should wait for someone to love..
i really dont care if is a chik or a guy..
so.. it's be fun .. i mean try both sides.. like a real relationship..
and doing it .. of course..
yeah.. i should do that..
but im always talking too much.. to much that i cna give.. so..
im fucking cracked maaan..
i should use more weed..,maaan..
i should try all thsoe fucking things.. and i should stay in US.. forever maaaan..
i dont want to come back maaaan..
vzla sux forever.. i dont like this fucking country of hell.
ppl are like fucking bad ppl..
im just open to try a lot of things.. IF I WANT to try it.. if not dont make me do it.. bitches.
peace
